How Sleeping Well Could Help You Find Love | Sleep Hub

Posted by Dr Sophie Bostock - Sleep Expert on 24th Mar 2020

How Sleeping Well Could Help You Find Love | Sleep Hub

Looking to boost your dating profile? Bensons’ sleep expert Dr Sophie Bostock explains why getting enough sleep will help you do just that.

Why beauty sleep is a real thing

Alarm and Eye mask on Bed Sheets

The effects of bad night’s sleep are more visible than we think. Studies show that we rate strangers as less physically attractive and less appealing to socialise with when they’ve had a sleepless night, than when we see well-rested photos of the same person.

Facial cues of tiredness can be quite subtle and yet we can pick out a tired face in seconds – pale skin, swollen eyelids, narrower eyes, dark circles under the eyes, and a general lack of va-va-voom.

From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense – our brains instinctively look for healthy mates to help the survival of the species (not necessarily long-term compatibility) – and being sleep deprived gives off a signal that something is not quite right.

You’re not your best self when you’re tired

Woman holding pink flowers and yawning

Whether you’re looking for a soulmate, or an entertaining night out, avoiding the sleepier end of the dating spectrum could have its advantages…

Sleep deprivation makes us less optimistic and sociable, and worse at understanding and expressing emotions. We feel more irritable, anxious and low, making it harder for us to empathise with others.

If your other half has the warmth of a wet fish, sleep deprivation could be the explanation.

Our brains rely on sleep for verbal fluency and creativity, so the conversation is more likely to stall if you or your date we're up late. In the workplace, sleep deprived leaders are rated as less charismatic than their sleep-enabled counterparts.

And you know those subtle touches which make you know someone is interested in you? Remembering your birthday, or your siblings’ names? Without sleep, short-term memory is more likely to let you down and that endearing anecdote is more likely to end in confusion, followed by an awkward silence.

So, what can you do if you have a date this week?

1. Planning your sleep the week before your date

It stands to reason but protect time for sleep. This is not the week for a Netflix binge marathon. Stick to the same wake up time and sleep time, up until the big night out.

2. How to sleep the night before a date

To banish pre-date anxiety, practice a positive imagery technique. Rather than worrying about ‘what if it all goes wrong?’ practice walking through the ideal date. Spend 10 minutes or so before you go to sleep deliberately focusing on the positives. Imagine where you’ll go, what you’ll wear, what you’ll see, how you’ll feel. Transport yourself to the ideal movie scene of your date. Even if you can’t sleep, at least you’ll get to linger in the imaginary company of your potential partner that little bit longer and it will help your confidence on the big night out.

3. Day of the date

If you really can’t sleep, don’t worry. Remind yourself that you’ve done much more important things on much less sleep. And yes, you might have slightly paler skin, and tired eyes, but if you keep a genuine smile on your face, they’re unlikely to notice. If you ever can’t sleep for more than 15-20 minutes, get out of bed and do something relaxing until you feel sleepy enough to get back into bed.

FAQs about sleep and attraction

How does sleep quality affect my attractiveness?

Good sleep improves your physical appearance, and it does so in a number of ways. Getting enough sleep can reduce the appearance of dark circles and puffiness while helping to promote a healthy complexion. What's more, when you're well-rested you tend to look more vibrant and approachable. And this in itself can make you more attractive to potential partners.

Can lack of sleep really impact my dating life?

Yes, it can! A lack of sleep has the potential to negatively affect a whole bunch of aspects including your mood, energy levels, and overall demeanour. Basically, when you're sleep deprived, you can be less engaging and less fun to be around. Not getting enough sleep can also impair your cognitive functions. The results? Well, it'll be harder to communicate effectively and make that good first impression on dates.

How does sleep influence my emotional stability in relationships?

Getting regular good quality sleep makes regulating our emotions much easier to do. This means that we're more patient, understanding, and handle stress much better after a good night's sleep. And emotional stability is essential for anyone hoping to be able to maintain a healthy relationship and resolve conflicts in a more constructive way.

Is there a connection between sleep and confidence?

Absolutely! Getting the right amount of sleep will give your mood and self-esteem a boost. And being in a positive mood - and feeling good about yourself - will ultimately result in improved confidence levels. Furthermore, this feeling of confidence may make you more appealing to partners in romantic situations.

How soon can I expect to see changes in my dating life after improving my sleep?

Though it's important to point out that individual experiences may vary, many people start to notice positive changes in their mood, energy, and interactions within just a few weeks of improving their sleep habits. So stick with it! Better sleep can gradually help to enhance your overall well-being and attractiveness, which should see some improvements when it comes to your dating life.