Bedroom Etiquette: How to Be A Considerate Bed Partner
Gemma HenrySleeping next to your partner can bring a whole host of benefits, including longer and better sleep, less fatigue, and lower levels of stress and anxiety (1). However, it’s not all peaceful dozing and lazy lie-ins on a Sunday.
Our recent research has identified that online searches for 'sleep etiquette' and 'how to to cope with snoring partner' have risen dramatically as Brits try to turn the tide on sleep divorce and bedroom battles, which have been on the rise in recent years.
That’s why we’ve teamed up with The UK's Queen of Etiquette, Laura Windsor to reveal the do's and don'ts in the bedroom, for those who want to be seen as a respectful and considerate bed partner.
So, what are Brits’ bedroom etiquette faux pas?
Our top examples of bad bedroom etiquette
What’s top of the list of what not to do to avoid the dreaded sleep divorce? Both snoring and hogging the duvet in bed are the biggest causes of rows in the bedroom, being seen as disrespectful and disturbing to a partner you're sharing the bed with.
Other examples of bad bedroom etiquette include having an alarm set too early or too loudly for the morning, and scrolling on your phone late into the night. Both of which are big no-no's according to Laura.
“Sleep is vital to our wellbeing, and everyday good mood, so it can be frustrating and feel very disrespectful when your bed partner gets into bad habits. Just because we’re relaxed in bed, doesn’t mean you should let bedroom etiquette slip – just as you behave politely in public, or at the dinner table, try to carry good manners and respect through to the bedroom as well.”
Sometimes we can’t help snoring or needing a late-night wee, but there’s no excuse for poor bedroom manners. Snoozing the alarm five times in the morning? Not fair. Leaving dirty clothes all over the floor? Think again. Not making the bed in the morning? Be more considerate.
The top ten things Brits do which annoy their partners in bed
- Snoring (56%)
- Hogging the duvet (24%)
- Leaving the light on whilst the other is trying to sleep (20%)
- Scrolling on their phone or watching videos whilst the other is trying to sleep (19%)
- Fidgeting (17%)
- Get up to go to the loo (17%)
- Having an annoying or loud alarm tone (15%)
- Phone going off in the middle of the night (15%)
- Sleeping at a different temperature and needing more or fewer covers (14%)
- Not tidying up the bedroom or leaving clothes out (13%)
For anyone suffering from bad bedroom etiquette, Laura has some top tips for broaching the subject of bedroom manners and being the most polite bedfellow you can be.
Consider separate bedrooms if the snoring gets too much
Snoring is something that a lot of us actually can’t help, even though there are things that can be done to help stay as quiet as possible, such as sleeping on your side and avoiding alcohol (2).
If your partner’s snoring is too much to take every single night, consider having regular sleepovers in the spare room. This can help you to feel better rested in the morning, and avoid unnecessary rows from bubbling over.
Put an end to duvet hogging
Not everyone is going to sleep at the same temperature or want the same amount of covers as others. If you share with a duvet hogger, consider the Scandinavian Sleep Method. This means you have two separate duvets, which can work wonders for stopping arguments at night.
A clean bedroom is a happy bedroom
Our surroundings affect our mood, and being in a clean and tidy environment, particularly when we want to relax and sleep, is so important.
It’s not good bedroom manners to leave your dirty clothes just piled up or strewn on the floor. Likewise, taking it in turns to tidy and clean the bedroom should be both of your responsibilities.
Phones on silent!
Mobile phones are the cause of so many bad manners at home and at work, and that remains the case for late-night scrolling whilst in bed. Whether it’s the noise from TikTok videos or the light from the screen, it affects the person next to you just as much.
Agree on a time when you put the phone down and always make sure you set it to silent mode, not vibrate, so it doesn’t disturb your partner.
Agree on a wake-up call
It’s not surprising that 1 in 7 of us get annoyed by our partner’s alarm tone… our own is bad enough! Agree on a time for it to go off, as well as your choice of noise.
If the alarm is particularly abrasive, then it makes that wake-up call even worse. It’s good bedroom etiquette to consult your partner when choosing your alarm tone, and agree on something as calm as possible. It’s something you have to ‘share’, just like the type of bedding or colour of the bedroom walls.
For more information on how to be a polite bedfellow and improve your sleep quality, head over to our Sleep Hub. Also, don’t let a tired and rickety old bed be the source of your sleep discomfort. Explore our huge range of beds and mattresses and invest in your sleep health.
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Gemma Henry - Content Lead
Gemma finds sleep fascinating and describes the discovery aspect of her role as eye-opening. Her keen eye for detail and dedication to thorough research ensures that Bensons customers get the informative sleep-based advice they're looking for.