How to Help Your Child Cope with Nightmares (and Understand the Difference Between Nightmares and Night Terrors)

Waking to the sound of your child crying in the middle of the night can be upsetting for any parent. Whether they're frightened after a bad dream or sitting bolt upright screaming, it's natural to wonder what's happening and how you can help.

The first thing to know is that nightmares and night terrors aren't the same thing. Although they're often confused, they happen at different stages of sleep and require slightly different approaches.

In this guide, we'll explain the difference between nightmares and night terrors, why they happen, and what you can do to help your child get a more restful night's sleep.

Nightmares vs Night Terrors: What's the Difference?

One of the biggest misconceptions parents have is using the terms nightmare and night terror interchangeably.

Although both can be distressing to witness, they are very different sleep events.

What is a Nightmare?

A nightmare is a frightening dream that happens during REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep, usually during the second half of the night.

Because children wake during or immediately after the dream, they often remember what happened and may be frightened to go back to sleep.

They might:

• Wake fully and call for you
• Remember the dream in detail
• Feel anxious or upset
• Need reassurance before settling back to sleep

Nightmares are incredibly common. Around 50-60% of children experience them occasionally, and many have periods where they happen more frequently (1).

What is a Night Terror?

Night terrors are very different.

They happen during deep non-REM sleep, usually within the first few hours after falling asleep.

A child experiencing a night terror may:

• Sit bolt upright in bed
• Scream or cry intensely
• Have their eyes open but appear to look straight through you
• Seem confused or difficult to comfort
• Have no memory of the event the following morning

Although frightening for parents, night terrors are generally harmless and your child is usually still asleep throughout the episode.

Understanding which one your child is experiencing is the first step towards knowing how best to respond.

Why do Children have Nightmares?

Nightmares are part of normal childhood development.

As children's imaginations grow, their brains become better at processing emotions, memories and experiences during sleep.

However, nightmares are more likely when children are:

• Feeling anxious or worried
• Adjusting to changes at home or school
• Recovering from an upsetting experience
• Overtired or not getting enough sleep
• Watching or reading frightening content before bed

Because dreams help process emotions, stressful experiences often find their way into dream content.

Can Being Overtired Make Nightmares Worse?

Yes.

When children don't get enough sleep, their brains often compensate by spending more time in REM sleep, where dreaming occurs. This may increase the likelihood of vivid dreams or nightmares.

An inconsistent bedtime routine can also make children more emotionally sensitive, meaning they're more likely to wake after a bad dream.

Could Your Child's Sleep Environment be Contributing?

Parents often focus on bedtime routines, but the sleep environment can also play an important role.

If your child regularly wakes distressed at similar times each night, it may be worth considering whether something in the bedroom is disturbing their sleep.

For example:

• Is the room becoming too warm overnight?
• Are they overheating under a heavy duvet?
• Is their mattress retaining heat?
• Are noises or light causing brief awakenings?

Temperature is one of the most overlooked causes of disrupted sleep.

Choosing breathable bedding, dressing children appropriately for the room temperature and ensuring their mattress doesn't trap excess heat can all contribute to a more comfortable night's sleep.

Children's bedrooms should be calm, comfortable and designed to support healthy sleep all year round, with breathable sleep products that help children stay comfortable through the night.

What Should You do After a Nightmare?

If your child wakes frightened after a nightmare, your priority is helping them feel safe again.

Try to:

• Stay calm and reassure them
• Acknowledge that the dream felt scary
• Remind them it was only a dream
• Encourage them back into their own bed when they're ready
• Offer comfort with a favourite soft toy or comforter
• Use a dim night light if it helps them feel secure

The goal isn't to convince them the dream wasn't frightening – it was very real to them – but to help them feel safe enough to relax again.

What Should You do During a Night Terror?

Night terrors require a different approach.

Because your child is usually still asleep, it's generally best not to wake them unless they're at risk of hurting themselves.

Instead:

• Stay nearby
• Keep them safe
• Wait for the episode to pass naturally
• Gently guide them back into bed if needed

Most children settle back to sleep within a few minutes and won't remember anything the next day.

If it Happens at the Same Time Every Night...

If your child's night terrors occur at almost exactly the same time every evening, some sleep specialists recommend gently disrupting the sleep cycle shortly beforehand.

Around 15 minutes before the usual time, quietly enter the room, gently move bedding or open a drawer, just enough to encourage your child to stir or change sleeping position without fully waking them.

This small interruption can sometimes prevent the night terror from occurring by slightly altering the sleep cycle.

If episodes are frequent, it's always worth discussing them with your GP or health visitor.

Evidence-Based Ways to Reduce Recurring Nightmares

If nightmares become frequent, these approaches may help.

Image Rehearsal Therapy

Ask your child to imagine a new, happier ending to the nightmare during the daytime.

Perhaps the monster becomes friendly, their favourite superhero appears, or something silly happens that changes the story completely.

Practising the new version regularly can reduce the emotional impact of recurring nightmares.

Comfort Objects

Research has found that comfort objects, such as a favourite teddy or toy, can reduce bedtime anxiety and help children feel safer during the night.

Whether the toy is the "protector" or the child protects it, both approaches have been shown to improve sleep.

Dream Changer

Some families have success using imaginative techniques such as a pretend "Dream Changer" remote control.

Children are encouraged to imagine changing the channel whenever a bad dream begins, replacing it with a happier dream instead.

It gives children a greater sense of control over their dreams, which can help to reduce nightmare frequency.

When Should You Seek Medical Advice?

Occasional nightmares are a normal part of childhood.

However, it's worth speaking to your GP if:

• Nightmares happen several times every week
• They're affecting your child's mood or behaviour during the day
• Your child becomes anxious about going to bed
• Episodes begin suddenly after a traumatic event
• You're unsure whether your child is experiencing nightmares, night terrors or another sleep disorder

Helping Your Child Sleep More Peacefully

Most nightmares pass naturally as children grow, but a calm bedtime routine, a comfortable sleep environment and plenty of reassurance can make a real difference.

Remember that quality sleep isn't just about routines, it's also about creating a bedroom where children feel safe, secure and comfortable. From maintaining the right bedroom temperature to choosing breathable bedding and a supportive mattress, small changes can help children enjoy more settled nights and help parents sleep a little easier too.

Sources:

1. https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/nightmares-brain